Epic Rap Battles of Hasbro
by Matthais Unidostres
Summary: Watch as characters from Hasbro's major franchises fight each other in epic rap battles. Who fights who? YOU DECIDE! The raps are based off of raps by YouTube channels like ERB Parodies, Animeme, and other channels.
1. Princess Twilight Sparkle vs Zoe Trent

**Epic Rap Battles of Hasbro**

**Episode 1- Princess Twilight Sparkle VS Zoe Trent **

**(Based off of "The Angry Video Game Nerd vs The Irate Gamer" by ERB Parodies)**

_**EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HASBRO!**_

_**Princess Twilight Sparkle!**_

_**VS**_

_**Zoe Trent!**_

_**Begin!**_

**Zoe Trent:**

WARDROBE! I need a hot new outfit and fast,

The ultimate duel of Hub shows has finally come at last!

They say I'm a copier of your hair? Well they should give it a rest.

You're just a purple equine, and you're not really a princess!

Your show is as lame as it gets, and my songs have special effects!

I'll take down this girl faster than you beat Sunset!

I review the wear the best clothes, girl, Rarity's rags are a bore.

Welcome to Littlest Pet Shop, let me give you a tour!

MLP? Ha! Doesn't even compare to LPS,

Because this diva's going to make this pony a damsel in distress.

And yes! FiM is popular and very well known,

But Lauren Faust got up and left your show all alone!

You wanna duel with me? I'll take you down with my friends!

Since all you talk about is friendship from beginning to end!

I "Dance Like I Know I Can", your moves are a disgrace!

You know what's soaking wet and clueless? YOUR FACE!

**Twilight:**

Ya know what's HAYSEED?! Copy Cat-Dogs like you,

Think they can recreate my show, and claim it's something new!

Forget you, Trent, looking at your face makes me wanna hurl!

Just like Scootaloo, you have the worst singing in the world!

You're like if I got hit by Poison Joke, covered in drool!

You're show's just for babies, the fandom makes Ponies cool!

And even more emotion to actually gain fans!

I've been in a movie where I actually get hands!

Barkle, I'm a legend, you're just a joke and a meme!

You're just a troll magnet while tons of Bronies adore me.

Quit sittin' around, pulling dog bones out of your beret,

What kind of self respecting dog hangs around a smell skunk?

I'm gonna take you down just like Nightmare Moon,

You're an arrogant diva messing with the Harmony crew!

Princess Twilight Sparkle, don't forget it, you'll lose!

Because you love kissing my flank for all the Bronies views!

**Zoe Trent:**

Again, I don't copy you! How many times do I have to say it?

I'll bite off your Cutie Mark and Blythe will use it in an outfit

I got way more male friends, I don't need dumb hands

That Equestria Grils movie was critically panned.

You say you're a ruler in Equestria Land?

Well this dog show winner is making a stand!

I bark of song of hate, freak! I'll verbally rip off your horn!

Curse your show, mare. When mine is famous, it'll be like MLP was never born!

How could you possibly win this? My Special Talent is to sing!

Your stupid rhymes are as bad as Generation 3!

**Twilight:**

I used to wonder what LPS could be,

Until you shared all its pointless songs with me!

Your whole series should've ended before it even began.

I'll shove your beret down your throat, cause you're just a slave to man!

Ill get Rarity's couch out, make you regret, and pout!

If Digby really was your boyfriend, then I'd give her a shout!

How can anyone give credit to a show that steals character designs?

I wish I could go back an warn Hasbro like in "It's About Time!"

* * *

_Suddenly a huge burst of green fire exploded between them, and out of it stepped a little purple dragon with green spikes._

* * *

**Spike the Dragon:**

GIIIIRRRRRRRLLLLLLS!

Prepare to get crushed by Spike the Dragon,

You're nothing but two toy commercials, so be quiet and listen.

The only male voice of reason is here to kick both of your tails,

Sweetie Belle really hates your manes, you pair of epic fails!

And if you're wondering why I'm not at Twilight's defense,

It's 'cause becoming a Princess made absolutely no sense!

You two dug your own graves and now I walk all over you.

You're nothing like each other; and Zoe, Rarity is not as big a Diva as you!

* * *

_**WHO WON?**_

_**WHO'S NEXT?**_

_**YOU DECIDE!**_

* * *

_(From YouTube video "Epic Rap Battles of Equestria- Episode 33- The Great and Powerful Trixie vs Sunil Nevla") _

_**ajonesjuin1 **3 months ago_

Twilight vs Zoe or Fluttershy vs Penny Ling the panda

* * *

_Ep - pic _

_rap-rap-rap-rap-rap-rap-rap battles_

_Rap-rap-rap-rap battles_

**_OF HASBRO!_**


	2. Penny Ling vs Fluttershy

**Epic Rap Battles of Hasbro**

**Episode 2- Penny Ling VS Fluttershy**

**(Based off of "Steve vs Joe" by ERB Parodies)**

_**EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HASBRO!**_

_**Penny Ling!**_

_**vs.**_

_**Fluttershy!**_

**Fluttershy:**

Oh dear! I'm scared! It's the tiny Dragon Warrior,

Getting ready to drown us by crying a salty river.

Nobody else likes to drink your Bamboo Chai Tea,

Go hide in your fire hydrant and do some Tai-Chi

Stop being such a doormat, but put a lid on your wrath

I mean, Celestia! How did you rip that chair in half?

Don't shout in Sunil's face, he's more of a wuss than you,

And don't you dare laugh at me, I'll just wrath at you!

I'm sitting here thinking "Should I just give her The Stare?"

But you're really just a cry baby version of the Grumpy Care Bear.

I feel bad for you, you act like me when I was Discorded.

How can LPS even feed you? Can bamboo be imported?

Okay, Mrs. Po, get out of the Hub now!

You big dumb meanie! Make like Blythe and go!

**Penny Ling**:

That mailpony gave me your letter, I wonder who it's from?

It's probably from the Hub, telling you that your run is done.

I'll sit in my fire hydrant and kick off my slippers

I'm surprised you even have friends judging from your shy manners.

You think you're better than me? Well here's a clue,

Panda's are tougher than you think, unlike you.

They gave you the Hissy Fit Award, well that's bad!

Viewers seeing "Putting Your Hoof Down" made them sad.

**Fluttershy:**

Just like Rainbow Dash, you have gone way too far!

When I stomped her in the ribs I stomped her hard.

I mean, in Celestia's name, you walk and talk like a thug.

You're not a panda, you're a purple Diamond Dog.

You threw a tantrum over an outfit? Check out "Suited for Success"

_I_ know more than Blythe when it comes to making a dress.

Just one season? Yay! That cheer was sarcastic.

I'm being assertive, so sit in your fire hydrant of plastic.

Listen girl, okay, you are a little cutie.

But unfortunately, I really got you beat with my *_squee_*!

**Penny Ling:**

Oh please, I'm the panda with the plan!

I can get the job done, while you never can!

**Fluttershy:**

Oh yeah? Well I stared down a fire breathing dragon!

I tamed a Manticore and a Cockatrice before your show even began!

**Penny Ling:**

You sound like Zoe's squeaky lobster with a broken squeaker,

In order to hear your cheering you'd need a loud speaker.

If "Green Isn't Your Color" then "Mean Isn't My Color"

Your coat matches the color of what pets leave in boxes of litter.

I'm a very brave and clever panda that just happens to be

outrageously adorable, so I think you'd better leave.

I'm not you, I can't say things that are not nice,

Oh wait, I take that back, I _hate all _you ponies to be precise!

_**WHO WON?**_

_**WHO'S NEXT?**_

_**YOU DECIDE!**_

* * *

_(From YouTube video "Epic Rap Battles of Equestria- Episode 33- The Great and Powerful Trixie vs Sunil Nevla") _

_**ajonesjuin1 **3 months ago_

Twilight vs Zoe or Fluttershy vs Penny Ling the panda

* * *

_**Ep-pic-pic-pic**_

_**Rap-rap-rap-rap**_

_**Battles- Battles**_

_**Of-Has-Has-Has-bro!**_


	3. CROSSOVER: Minka Mark vs Mojo Jojo

**Epic Rap Battles of Hasbro**

**Episode 3- Minka Mark vs Mojo Jojo**

**(Based off of "Psy VS Kim Jong Un" by Animeme Rap Battles)**

_**EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HASBRO!**_

_**CROSS-OVER!**_

_What up everybody, this is Matthais and welcome to the show! you all know I'm in the 5th Dimension between Hasbro and Cartoon Network. I got my "freaked out face" on! WOOOOOOAH! IT'S WEIRD!_

_Alright, today we go, reping The Hub:_

**_MINKA MARK!_**

_Versus:_

**_MOJO JOJO!_**

* * *

**Mojo Jojo:**

Really? You throw paint at canvases and make pictures, paintings, and images?

You make smears, splotches, and messes? If you undid your tails of pigs,

Nobody'd know who you are. I'm the King of evil ploys!

I created the Rowdy Ruff Boyz!

I'm intelligent, smart, and a super genius,

Don't bring the purple dog, the girl looks like an Alicorn Princess!

**Minka Mark:**

You should knock on your nose for good luck, Caeser,

'Cause you're a lying, liar, lie face. Such a disgrace.

All primates say you give us a bad name! Yup!

Three little girls beat you up everyday!

Your brain has radioactive decay!

**Mojo Jojo:**

I'm seizing power, and will destory!

Check out _Demashita! Powerpuff Girls Z_, You're just a finger painter!

Your insults don't affect me! I star in the movie!

And my Oscar is coming, hide your shiny objects,

You're a Space Monkey? I got weapons and robots!

**Minka Mark:**

I'm a painty paint paint painter! I'll paint you into a corner!

You're less of a super villain threat than Whittany and Brittany Biscuit!

I'll monkey into you lab and volcan-ic-ally own you!

I got Blythe and Mrs. Twombly! The Professor just disowned you

**Mojo Jojo:**

Good guys are all suckers and nice guys finish last!

You won't be able to paint when I put your arm in a cast!

You're a Pinkie Pie clone! A copy of MLP!

Now I'll karate-chop you just like that alien king!

I'm a "monkey madness" leader, and I never run out of breath

I'm a scale model maker, and a Japanese chef!

You loose your sanity quickly, you put the spider in spider monkey,

You don't normally wear clothes? I say, cover up, nakey!

**Mojo Jojo:**

You a clock without a tick, that's right, you're all talk!

Your brain is giant? How many hat factories have you bought!

My art's on the top shelf, you will blow-up your-self!

My best friend's a tortoise, your plans are all worthless!

You are not King of anything! Jerk! You dead!

I'd rather have the Amoeba Boys instead!

They say you're the main villain, thay say YOU'RE supreme?

Well you won't be when the Littlest Pet Shop Pets make you creamed!

Jerk!

Ooooh! A shiny, purple belt buckle! Can I have it?! Pleeeeeaaase!

* * *

_**WHO WON?**_

_**WHO'S NEXT?**_

_**YOU DECIDE!**_

_**EPIC RAP BATTLES OF CARTOON NETWORK. . . **_

_oops. . .I mean. . ._

**_OF HASBRO!_**


	4. Optimus Prime vs Princess Celestia

**Epic Rap Battles of Hasbro**

**Episode 4- Optimus Prime vs Princess Celestia**

**(Based off of "Mewtwo vs Mew" by PokemonRapBattles1)**

_**EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HASBRO!**_

_**Optimus Prime!**_

_**vs.**_

_**Princess Celestia!**_

_**BEGIN!**_

**Optimus Prime:**

You're a fool if you think Transfromers isn't as huge as MLP

You are the ruler of Equestria and were shot down, can't you see?

I wondered what you thought friendship could be, but now I can tell,

It's just a power source which you use to send your enemies to Hell.

You freakin' troll, how would you like if my gun molested you,

I'll make it look Queen Chrysalis went easy on you.

You send six teens out, while you do nothing at all,

I had the Dark of the Moon, you just had your sister's fall.

**Celestia:**

You're getting angry, and your face is just unnerving,

I thought I could be kind to you, but you're just undeserving.

So be silent and bow down to me, and quit your polluting.

I could hit you with the Elements, but that would be too easy.

I live in Canterlot Castle, you're from outer space,

You always die in every series, it's such a disgrace.

MLP has a huge Fan Base, an army of Bronies,

At least my ponies didn't have Michael Bay make their movies!

**Optimus Prime:**

You fool! You had your chance! I'm putting your kingdom into bankruptcy!

There's a thin line between being a hero and being a memory.

I'm the leader of the Autobots, a force you cannot crack.

And judging from your Season 2 Finale, the Royal Guard is just plain crap.

There's more to us than meets the eye, you're nothing but a horse,

I accept all burdens with all that I am! You give them Twi, of course.

I'm a master of combat, in both melee and gun play,

You just have a lazer beam, what else is there to say?

**Celestia:**

Why aren't you afraid? Remember Starscream vs Dash?

You're just a hard and software, time to make you crash!

You've died so many times, fans no longer cling to you,

I lost to Queen Chrysalis, yes, but I'm still better than you!

Your All Spark is going dim, so it's time to finish you.

Twilight will use her Spark, and her friends, to send you to the moon!

So, shut-up Sweetie Bot, but feel free to go and moan,

As I condone and dethrone this red and blue drone!

* * *

_**WHO WON?**_

_**WHO'S NEXT?**_

_**YOU DECIDE!**_

* * *

_Lord Lycaon 9/17/13 . chapter 3_

_Optimus Prime vs Celestia_

* * *

_Guest 9/16/13 . chapter 3_

_Optimus Prime vs Celestia. Try and work that in somehow, will you?_

* * *

**_EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HASBRO!_**


	5. Russell Ferguson vs Twilight Sparkle

**Epic Rap Battles of Hasbro**

**Episode 5- Russell Ferguson vs Twilight Sparkle**

**(Based off of "Phoenix Wright vs Adrian Monk" by ERB Parodies)**

_**EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HASBRO!**_

_**Russell Ferguson!**_

_**vs.**_

_**Twilight Sparkle!**_

_**BEGIN!**_

**Twilight:**

Here's the thing; I'm all set to buck this sorry rodent's rear

I've solved a ton of friendship problems since I started my career

Your show's random as Pinkie, should've been canceled on the spot,

Unless I'm wrong about all this; which, you know, I'M NOT!

Your messy porcupine spikes could poke out someone's eye

Just stay in Littlest Pet Shop; it's a jungle outside

When it comes to being spikey, I'm sure Spike is more effective

Here's what happened, Mr. F; you crossed the wrong detective

**Russell:**

HEEEEY! Your statement is clearly faulty, Twi!

I'm a _hedgehog_! Would you like it I called you a Pegasi?

You can't handle computer tech, or a bakers dozen of treats,

You and your friends are always in peril, a pet's life is sweet.

Made a movie of a Sweet Truck Ride, cleared the name of Blythe,

You sold out your three friends in the triple M crime.

I've double checked my checklist, I've clearly got the victory,

Sure your friendship may be magic, but it's also contradictory!

**Twilight:**

Double checking? Guess what? I do _triple checking!_

You came after me, pet, thinking you could beat me at rapping

But you forgot about a crucial piece of evidence,

Littlest Pet Shop's just has one season, FiM arrived in 2010

You made your debut on the Hub, in 2012.

My show has tons of Bronies, your audience is all younger than 12.

You're an obsessed Star Trek fan who lives in a fantasy

While I'm the savior of Equestria, so give up now; your show's insanity!

* * *

_Russell stood with his paw rubbing his chin in thought. The surrounding warped as they turned into a fantasy of a courtroom with Blythe as the judge and the other pets on the jury. Russell is at the stand, and he's wearing a blue suit and a red neck tie._

**Russell:**

**_OBJECTION!_** Witness, there is a clear contradiction in your testimony!

It's time for this hedgehog to foil this mare like Dr. E.

Like how Wionna licks your face, I'm gonna kick your flank,

Check on YouTube, _Magic Mystery Cure_ and_ Equestria Girls_ STANK!

You're crazy! You're insane! You're OCD!

And I bet Dash went to the _Rainbow Factory _because he couldn't handle your therapy

Take a bubble bath with Spike, Twily; You're mane's a mess and filthy

And I charge you with enslaving dragons, the court finds you GUILTY!

* * *

_**WHO WON?**_

_**WHO'S NEXT?**_

_**YOU DECIDE!**_

* * *

_**BrittanyBrighttheMagikatin 9/17/13 . chapter 3**_

How about, even though she already did one, Twilight Sparkle vs Russell Ferguson?

* * *

_**EPIC!**_

**OBJECTION!**

_**RAP BATTLES OF HASBROOOOOOOOOOO!**_


	6. Blythe Baxter vs Rainbow Dash

**Epic Rap Battles of Hasbro**

**Episode 6: Blythe Baxter vs Rainbow Dash**

**(Set to "Tobuscus vs Pewdiepie" by Video Game Rap Battles)**

**_EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HASBOR!_**

_**Blythe Baxter!**_

**VS!**

_**Rainbow Dash!**_

_**BEGIN!**_

**Rainbow Dash:**

How's it going girl? It's Rainbow Dash!

By the end this daddy's girl is going to crash!

You're just Rarity with a pet fetish, you'll grow up to be a bum.

I'm about to smash in your face with a Hoof Bump!

You think you can insult me? Huh, I don't care!

You have a bigger head, but I have the cooler hair!

I beat Changelings, Starscream, Keldeo, and even Fluttershy!

Run and hide in Penny's fire hydrant and have a good cry.

**Blythe:**

Well it looks like the Biscuit Twins are not the biggest jerks,

You just race and take naps all day, I actually do work.

My outfits are on pair with Rarity's, oh wait, they're better!

You're not the Element of Loyalty, you're the most arrogant mare ever!

I'm way better than all those rap opponents that you conquered!

This battle will end so fast you'll think it's _"Double Rainboom." _Sponsor. . .

You and your whole Brony Army have just been beaten!

I'm done with you now, we've got _Cupcakes _to be eaten!

**Rainbow Dash:**

You're just jealous that you have no place in the Brony Army!

Your audience is a bunch of 8 year olds, just TRY and harm me!

You show has too many songs, you people are insane.

All those imagine spots. . .what's wrong with your brains?

You're an Eliza Thornberry rip off? Why the heck are you even trying?

Push away your own dad and then you break down crying!

Fashion Camp? That's why you left? You're one to talk about Loyalty!

And you and Russell F., well, that's self explanatory.

**Blythe:**

OMG! I'm not here to take cheap shots from a pony,

You always tease and insult your friends, you red eyed phony!

You say I'm afraid, don't you remember "Sonic Rainboom"?

You can't handle animals, they almost sealed your doom.

I can open my sketch pad and draw you in a man suit,

You're a mascot for Skittles, I'd rather have real fruit.

Blythe Style is so hot, no Brony can fight it.

All Bronies will be Petters, even Celestia will see it!

**Rainbow Dash:**

Nobody watches LPS! No one analyzes it either!

Check out all the reviewers on Youtube, then take a breather.

Fan art, fan games, fan music and BronyCon!

Equestria is forever, we all want Downtown City gone!

**Blythe:**

LOL! You're just screaming, and part of that's wrong.

We DO have fan art, and we DO have fan songs.

The pets ROFL cause they know that you lost,

Let's reenact "Applebuck Season," and send you blasting off.

* * *

_**WHO WON?**_

_**WHO'S NEXT?**_

_**YOU DECIDE!**_

* * *

_**Bananas 10/12/13 . chapter 5 **_

How about Rainbow dash blythe ?

* * *

_**EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HASBRO!**_


End file.
